Nice to meet you

alex 2I’m Alex (the Gr8) and I’ve been practising the noble art of chimney sweeping for more than a decade, following a 25-year career as a newspaper journalist. And I’m now (arguably) Britain’s uncrowned Top Sweep, having kept the chimney of Britain’s senior fireman clean and safe for eight years...

if you need a chimney or a flue cleaned (and they are not necessarily the same thing), look no further.

When customers initially contact me, I always begin by establishing exactly what they want swept: Is it a standard fireplace and chimney, a large inglenook (with or without a thing called “a register plate”), a woodburner/ multi-fuel burner (with or without a flexible “liner”), an Aga/Rayburn, Jetmaster, or Esse. Every flue is different. Every job varies. Every customer is unique.

I offer the full range of sweeping services (see the “What I Do” page) to more than 500 satisfied, regular customers, including:

  • Little old ladies
  • Peers of the Realm
  • Novice owners of multi-fuel burners
  • Mr and Mrs Average (and their neighbours, the Normals)
  • Professors, priests, police officers, pilots, posties, pen-pushers, para- medics (that’s enough Ps, thank you...).

I treat all my valued customers with respect and courtesy — as though they were made in God's very image. I'm happy to offer a primate option for consenting adults, but, unlike primates, I take my shoes off at the threshold of each customer’s home; promise not to cut corners; take pride in my work; and guarantee a thorough job.

And I’m also equally happy to be paid by cash, cheque or BACS (online banking) — whatever is most convenient for YOU.

ALL income is declared, because Truth and honesty are part of the warp and weft of the universe in which we live. Prof Brian Cox may not agree... but no-one can live consistently — do have a go! — with an atheistic worldview. If there is no God, there is no right nor wrong; so there's no "merit" in declared income, nor anything "wrong" with undeclared income. The universe IS simply what it is: Blind. Indifferent. Unjudging. Pitiless. Sterile. The Godless universe is neither tolerant, purposeful, equal, progressive, kind, just, nor beautiful. It just IS. Period. Anything (that goes) goes.

On the other hand: In the beginning, God...

AS IT SAYS ON THE OFFICIAL CERTIFICATE WHICH I ALWAYS LEAVE WITH EVERY CUSTOMER: "IF YOU'RE PLEASED WITH MY SERVICE, TELL A FRIEND. IF YOU'RE NOT... TELL ME!"

Sweeping throughDemothe West Country
    • Contact me on...

      07710 794321

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      Demo Demo
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